fernacular:

fernacular:

I just stuck my leg out to fake trip my brother but he just kept walking and since he’s so much bigger then me I just pivoted like a revolving door.

surprisedentistry:

viir-tanadhal:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

the-one-the-only-derpghost:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

numberlover1729:

surprisedentistry:

evil-dad-evil:

surprisedentistry:

dentalectomy:

dentalectomy:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

update: we underestimated him

why are your doors closed to the public 

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

update:

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

HOW

So is no one going to comment on the giant cockatiel (?) head wall mount

it’s called art

intricatecakes:

enemies to lovers, 40k

patroclusdefencesquad:

the most unrealistic fanfic trope, imo, is the one where one half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer bc I have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

my-darling-boy:

my-darling-boy:

my-darling-boy:

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

Ah rabies

But what if the bat was from my secret gay vampire admirer

cum-loser:

demigordon:

raccoons have people hands

or do we have raccoon hands

naturalcottage:

Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away.

inakingdombythesilversea:

quarantine mood: walking aimlessly around the house bc you’re tired of sitting down and can’t go outside to exercise and don’t know what else to do and suddenly realizing you have become a jane austen heroine “taking a turn about the room”